I thought that after the summer I would find more time to write but apparently that isn't quite the way things are working out. I try to take it easy, especially in this weather and at this stage of pregnancy, but for some reason silly little things keep making it into my schedule to tie up my time.
But I really wanted to post on some of the great books I've read over the last year.
A lot of them have been about birth and breastfeeding and parenting. Here's the list on that topic:
Mothering your Nursing Toddler: Norma Jane Bumgarner
Natural childbirth the Bradley Way: Susan McCutcheon
Pregnancy and Birth, the Best Evidence: Joyce Barrett, MD & Teresa Pitman
The Discipline Book: Dr Sears
Ina May’s guide to Childbirth: Ina May Gaskin
Adventures in Tandem Nursing: Hilary Flower
Womanly Art of Breastfeeding: La Leche League International
The Breastfeeding Answer Book: La Leche League International
Silent Knife-Cessarean Prevention & Vaginal Birth After Cesarean: N.W. Cohen & L.J. Estner
I have learned so much from reading all these books. It's amazing how there are certain books you and read and they meet you exactly where you're at and make you feel like you're really on the right track. I truly don't enjoy reading books that tell me I'm doing everything wrong!
Another topic of interest to me has been homeschooling and education in general. Here are some of the books I've read in regard to that topic:
Playful Learning-An Alternate Approache to Preschool: Anne Engelhardts & Cheryl Sullivan
The Homeschool Handbook: Mary Griffith
Why So Many Christians are Going Home to School: Llewellyn B. Davis
For the Children's Sake: Susan Schaeffer Macaulay
Homeschooling at the Speed of Life: Maralyn Rockett
I haven't read any books on homesteading but I have spent a large amount of time looking at articles and websites online about it. For those of you (like me) who are newbies to this phrase, it basically means getting back to living off the land. This is something that people do both in cities as well as in rural areas. I have always been intrigued by this lifestyle. I love reading books about the Amish for example and learning about how they live with no electicity or vehicles (though some do have those things of course). It's silly but I've even incorporated some of their ideas about housework. The biggest thing is probably that (most of) the Amish women in the books do laundry on Mondays. So now Mondays I make sure to do a load or two of laundry.
I have a couple of books that I'd really like to take some more time to talk about because of the impact they've made in my life. I would love to tell you what I've learned about all the books but I think that would just take to much time. If you have questions about a particulat book or even just a topic in general that I've been looking into feel free to ask and I'll fill you in more on what I've learned.
So there's two books that have quite radically changed my thinking (and lifestyle)but, unfortunatly, I don't have time to type more right now! So yes, I'm going to leave you in suspense for those two. I'll start typing up on the first book and I'm not actually finished the second one yet but I hope that you can get something out of my experiences with them too.
Showing posts with label lifestyle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lifestyle. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Baby Steps to a Better Life
I just read a really inspirational post on trying to "do it all." I came across this mama's blog a while back and she had some very similar ideas about lifestyle that I do. She called her post "The Impossible is Possible."
There are some really terrific women in my life who seem to have it all together. They eat the the right kinds of foods (unprocessed, whole ingredients, made from scratch etc) and homeschool their children, exercise regularly, volunteer, garden, keep a clean house, spend personal time studying Scripture, run a business, do "crafty" things, and still have time for playdates and husbands! I am so far from being organized (or energetic) enough to do even half of that. I know that these women didn't accomplish this all overnight. But I have still looked at them and thought "I wish I could do that." I have tried to stop saying things like that. I don't want to "wish away" chunks of my life. I want to be content where I'm at in life and enjoy each stage of life that I go through.
I love the saying that we are a work in progress. That's totally how I feel. And it's kind of great knowing that the Lord's not done with me yet. I don't have to feel like I've "arrived" because, until I get to heaven or the Jesus comes again, I haven't arrived. I still on the journey. So I reflected a bit last week on how I've grown in mostly intangible ways and I want to take a bit of time this week to talk about some of the steps that we've made toward the lifestyle we feel called to.
Over the last few years a BIG change we have made is in our diets. We used to buy a lot of premade meals (I didn't cook a lot) and processed snacks. I now cook most of the time (I still throw in a frozen lasagna once in a while) and try to make sure that those meals are well-balanced (i.e. enough veggies). Our snacks usually consist of crackers n cheese, or fresh fruit, or yogurt, or homemade (healthy) muffins or cookies. We also only do whole wheat bread and pastas. It was much easier for us to get motivated to eat healthier when Caleb started eating more with us. I really don't want his little body to get filled up with junk. I want to give his body things that are more natural and flow through his system without clogging arteries or filling him up with foods that have empty calories. I want him to learn to take pride in the body that God has blessed him with. In order to do that, we need to do it ourselves. That doesn't mean that we don't EVER have chips or cake (remember the apple pie I mentioned last week?). It just means that we choose not to keep that kind of stuff in the house on a regular basis. Adam and I are also learning to take better care of our bodies and we feel much better for it. It's amazing how a couple of eggs, whole wheat toast, homemade hashbrowns and a glass of milk make you feel for the rest of the morning! And then something as simple as spaghetti with whole wheat noodles and ground beef and tomato sauce with corn or carrots mixed in makes for a delicious healthy dinner.
Another change that we made was the switch to cloth diapers. I originally thought about doing cloth right from the time that Caleb was born. But I never got around to it. And when I signed off my business when he was about 10 or 11 months old my reward was to switch to cloth. It felt like a LOT of work at first but I was so passionate about the switch and since I used it as a "reward" to officially closing my business it was a lot more fun. Plus I was able to focus on the cute diapers that you can get when you do cloth and the fact that we were saving money and saving the environment... it was just a very exciting time. Next step is to hang my diapers to dry instead of putting them in the washer. My baby step toward this is to hang Caleb's nighttime diapers. He only has about 6 or 7 a week that I wash and need to hang up so it's very easy to take the few minutes to do so. When the newborn comes in a couple of months it will be more like 20 diapers every other day that I will need to hang. But I can still do baby steps and choose to hang them even once a week, or once a month if that's all I can manage. At least it will be a step closer to my goal.
Another accomplishment that I feel really good about is some volunteer work that I've had the opportunity to do. I get to support other mothers and even though it's really only a couple days a month that I put in regularly, it's great knowing that every little bit counts.
I have a list of 4 items that I want to plant in a garden next spring. I would love to have TONNES more but I feel like I can handle 4. Over the winter I'm planning to read about how to grow these items and how to prepare the soil etc. And I'm going to get Adam involved too (he can do more of the manual labour) and I know that Caleb will just have a blast finding out how seeds grow. Caleb already loves the dirt so it will be a really fun family project to do together. That's the way I'm looking at it. If I think about all the work involved and all the things I want to plant in the future then I will get overwhelmed. But a 4 item garden next year is better than no garden this year.
I've also read a lot about homeschooling and talked to a number of moms I know that have homeschooled or are currently homeschooling about how to start off with a toddler. It's very exciting that Caleb is getting old enough to "learn." But then I have to remind myself that he's been learning so much all of his life. Adam was always supportive of "my decision" to homeschool but it's been really great to see him not only support me but become pretty passionate about the topic himself. That's a huge step forward. I would love to buy a really great preschooler curriculum for Caleb right now and dive right in. But in reality he's 2 and a half! I do have somewhat of a more relaxed game plan for him over the course of the next year. A large part of which consists of going to the library regularly. He LOVES to be read too and will often sit on the floor with a book and "read" to himself. He was actually finding letters on the cracker box on the way home from groceries today. ("F, F, F, bigger F, where's Q? S, *sss*, *sss*, BOOM!" In addition to the library we walk around the farm and just talk about the animals and the plants and we talked a lot about harvesting. We've been talking about babies and birth a lot. Next spring we'll talk about gardening and where fruits and veggies come from. It'll just be living life. Way simpler than a full curriculum!
Another change was getting rid of cleaning chemicals. I'm not really one to put a "plug" in for a particular product but I would just like to say that I LOVE Norwex. I know that there are other great companies out there who sell similar stuff but my favorite thing is the antibacterial clothes. They came in especially handy when Caleb was potty training. I could just wipe up the mess (pee anyway), rinse the rag, and hang it up ready to use for next time. I also love them for when he was a newborn and I dropped a toy on the mall floor. I could just take my rag out, wipe it up, and know that it was clean. Plus they're still super soft but grippy enough to use when he's got jam or peanut butter or spaghetti sauce all over his face.
I have a number of other things that I would love to do with my time but for now I am just taking it day by day. I'm so thankful for the strength and guidance the Lord has given me so far and I know that He will continue to guide our steps towards living a healthier, simpler lifestyle. So that was a little longer than I intended but I hope that you enjoyed reading about some positive things. Like Kelli mentions in her post, there are many areas that I need to work on but I'm trying to be the kind of mom God wants me to be and live the life I'm called to live!
Feel free to leave a comment either here or on my facebook with some of the positive changes that you've made to your life in the last few years :)
There are some really terrific women in my life who seem to have it all together. They eat the the right kinds of foods (unprocessed, whole ingredients, made from scratch etc) and homeschool their children, exercise regularly, volunteer, garden, keep a clean house, spend personal time studying Scripture, run a business, do "crafty" things, and still have time for playdates and husbands! I am so far from being organized (or energetic) enough to do even half of that. I know that these women didn't accomplish this all overnight. But I have still looked at them and thought "I wish I could do that." I have tried to stop saying things like that. I don't want to "wish away" chunks of my life. I want to be content where I'm at in life and enjoy each stage of life that I go through.
I love the saying that we are a work in progress. That's totally how I feel. And it's kind of great knowing that the Lord's not done with me yet. I don't have to feel like I've "arrived" because, until I get to heaven or the Jesus comes again, I haven't arrived. I still on the journey. So I reflected a bit last week on how I've grown in mostly intangible ways and I want to take a bit of time this week to talk about some of the steps that we've made toward the lifestyle we feel called to.
Over the last few years a BIG change we have made is in our diets. We used to buy a lot of premade meals (I didn't cook a lot) and processed snacks. I now cook most of the time (I still throw in a frozen lasagna once in a while) and try to make sure that those meals are well-balanced (i.e. enough veggies). Our snacks usually consist of crackers n cheese, or fresh fruit, or yogurt, or homemade (healthy) muffins or cookies. We also only do whole wheat bread and pastas. It was much easier for us to get motivated to eat healthier when Caleb started eating more with us. I really don't want his little body to get filled up with junk. I want to give his body things that are more natural and flow through his system without clogging arteries or filling him up with foods that have empty calories. I want him to learn to take pride in the body that God has blessed him with. In order to do that, we need to do it ourselves. That doesn't mean that we don't EVER have chips or cake (remember the apple pie I mentioned last week?). It just means that we choose not to keep that kind of stuff in the house on a regular basis. Adam and I are also learning to take better care of our bodies and we feel much better for it. It's amazing how a couple of eggs, whole wheat toast, homemade hashbrowns and a glass of milk make you feel for the rest of the morning! And then something as simple as spaghetti with whole wheat noodles and ground beef and tomato sauce with corn or carrots mixed in makes for a delicious healthy dinner.
Another change that we made was the switch to cloth diapers. I originally thought about doing cloth right from the time that Caleb was born. But I never got around to it. And when I signed off my business when he was about 10 or 11 months old my reward was to switch to cloth. It felt like a LOT of work at first but I was so passionate about the switch and since I used it as a "reward" to officially closing my business it was a lot more fun. Plus I was able to focus on the cute diapers that you can get when you do cloth and the fact that we were saving money and saving the environment... it was just a very exciting time. Next step is to hang my diapers to dry instead of putting them in the washer. My baby step toward this is to hang Caleb's nighttime diapers. He only has about 6 or 7 a week that I wash and need to hang up so it's very easy to take the few minutes to do so. When the newborn comes in a couple of months it will be more like 20 diapers every other day that I will need to hang. But I can still do baby steps and choose to hang them even once a week, or once a month if that's all I can manage. At least it will be a step closer to my goal.
Another accomplishment that I feel really good about is some volunteer work that I've had the opportunity to do. I get to support other mothers and even though it's really only a couple days a month that I put in regularly, it's great knowing that every little bit counts.
I have a list of 4 items that I want to plant in a garden next spring. I would love to have TONNES more but I feel like I can handle 4. Over the winter I'm planning to read about how to grow these items and how to prepare the soil etc. And I'm going to get Adam involved too (he can do more of the manual labour) and I know that Caleb will just have a blast finding out how seeds grow. Caleb already loves the dirt so it will be a really fun family project to do together. That's the way I'm looking at it. If I think about all the work involved and all the things I want to plant in the future then I will get overwhelmed. But a 4 item garden next year is better than no garden this year.
I've also read a lot about homeschooling and talked to a number of moms I know that have homeschooled or are currently homeschooling about how to start off with a toddler. It's very exciting that Caleb is getting old enough to "learn." But then I have to remind myself that he's been learning so much all of his life. Adam was always supportive of "my decision" to homeschool but it's been really great to see him not only support me but become pretty passionate about the topic himself. That's a huge step forward. I would love to buy a really great preschooler curriculum for Caleb right now and dive right in. But in reality he's 2 and a half! I do have somewhat of a more relaxed game plan for him over the course of the next year. A large part of which consists of going to the library regularly. He LOVES to be read too and will often sit on the floor with a book and "read" to himself. He was actually finding letters on the cracker box on the way home from groceries today. ("F, F, F, bigger F, where's Q? S, *sss*, *sss*, BOOM!" In addition to the library we walk around the farm and just talk about the animals and the plants and we talked a lot about harvesting. We've been talking about babies and birth a lot. Next spring we'll talk about gardening and where fruits and veggies come from. It'll just be living life. Way simpler than a full curriculum!
Another change was getting rid of cleaning chemicals. I'm not really one to put a "plug" in for a particular product but I would just like to say that I LOVE Norwex. I know that there are other great companies out there who sell similar stuff but my favorite thing is the antibacterial clothes. They came in especially handy when Caleb was potty training. I could just wipe up the mess (pee anyway), rinse the rag, and hang it up ready to use for next time. I also love them for when he was a newborn and I dropped a toy on the mall floor. I could just take my rag out, wipe it up, and know that it was clean. Plus they're still super soft but grippy enough to use when he's got jam or peanut butter or spaghetti sauce all over his face.
I have a number of other things that I would love to do with my time but for now I am just taking it day by day. I'm so thankful for the strength and guidance the Lord has given me so far and I know that He will continue to guide our steps towards living a healthier, simpler lifestyle. So that was a little longer than I intended but I hope that you enjoyed reading about some positive things. Like Kelli mentions in her post, there are many areas that I need to work on but I'm trying to be the kind of mom God wants me to be and live the life I'm called to live!
Feel free to leave a comment either here or on my facebook with some of the positive changes that you've made to your life in the last few years :)
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Reflections
As I am enjoying some quiet time while Caleb is napping I realized that I'm quite bored right now. Sure there are plenty of things that I could be doing. Well... most of it consists of different aspects of housework. Instead I'm sitting here eating my second piece of pie (and last because it's all gone now) and reflecting a bit over the last year. I realized that I've had this blog for a whole year now! And what a year it has been.
I've learned so much about myself and my family. Did you know that raising a toddler is a lot more "work" than a newborn is? A newborn's needs are (usually) easily filled (diaper, snuggles, nursing). A toddler is mobile and has opinions and is essentially a little person, minus the logic and reasoning skills that adults have. (Or should have?) Watching Caleb put his boots and coat on to play in his sandbox is absolutely incredible. It's amazing how independent he can be. But then he gets tired and cold and still needs his mama right there too. He's super excited when I wake him up to go to Little Lambs (a children's story hour at my church) but then needs me to sit with him for 5-10 minutes before he's comfortable enough for me to leave. I really enjoy reading to Caleb (which we do a LOT these days) and doing puzzles and baking with him. I love that he wants to go out to work with his Papa as often as he can. I love that he wanted to follow his Opa & Oma (my parents) back to their place when they came by to tell me happy birthday. It's amazing to watch Caleb's vocabulary take off and see his interests expand and develop.
I've learned that my purpose right now is to create a safe and loving home environment for my family. It was very hard for me when I gave up my career to stay at home but I certainly don't regret it. I love being able to build my life around my family instead of trying to fit my family into my life. I've become a lot more content with my role as a SAHM. I'm still not keen on the cooking and cleaning end of things but I try to remind myself that those things are a way of serving my family. It helps that Adam doesn't mind having spaghetti at least once a week as long as I throw in an evening of shake n bake chicken once in a while.
I've spent the last year doing a lot of reading and learning about birth and breastfeeding as well as homeschooling. It's been fascinating to find out all of this neat stuff that I get to apply to my family's life. And it's been great to see Adam become more and more excited about homeschooling too. He was always supportive but excitement about it is even better.
Caleb and I have made some great friends over the last year and had tonnes of playdates. He's starting to get better with sharing and he not only remembers his friend but is finally saying their names. It's awesome to be able to to tell him which friend we are going to visit and he gets excited to play with them. He even recognizes vehicles when they pull up in the yard! Though I have learned to not mention the playdate until right before we leave or right before they arrive. Saves us the heartache if plans change or if he skips his nap out of excitement.
The impending arrival of our new little one is coming. I actually have a frozen meal in my freezer (which is more than I had with Caleb) so hopefully I can get some more made so we don't starve. We are still trying to figure out sleeping arrangements as Caleb is still pretty keen on snuggling really close to me at night. He also still likes to nurse down so it will be interesting to see how those things will need to be adjusted when there's a newborn in the bed too. My hope is that Caleb will snuggle more with his Papa instead of me. We've also been talking about how babies need lots of diapers (to which Caleb replies that he doesn't need diapers because he's a big boy) and that they need lots of "milkies." Caleb is usually pretty good with saying he will share milkies with the new baby so that's a very good thin. He also hugs my belly and says "hi" to the baby. I'm in the process of making a book for him on his entrance into the world with my digital scrapbooking program. I still have a lot more work to do on it though so I will really need to make the effort to get it done by Christmas.
I think that Caleb is about to wake up now though (I can hear his breath change in the monitor right now) so that's all for now folks! Happy Birthday to me and Yay! for a whole year of blogging!
I've learned so much about myself and my family. Did you know that raising a toddler is a lot more "work" than a newborn is? A newborn's needs are (usually) easily filled (diaper, snuggles, nursing). A toddler is mobile and has opinions and is essentially a little person, minus the logic and reasoning skills that adults have. (Or should have?) Watching Caleb put his boots and coat on to play in his sandbox is absolutely incredible. It's amazing how independent he can be. But then he gets tired and cold and still needs his mama right there too. He's super excited when I wake him up to go to Little Lambs (a children's story hour at my church) but then needs me to sit with him for 5-10 minutes before he's comfortable enough for me to leave. I really enjoy reading to Caleb (which we do a LOT these days) and doing puzzles and baking with him. I love that he wants to go out to work with his Papa as often as he can. I love that he wanted to follow his Opa & Oma (my parents) back to their place when they came by to tell me happy birthday. It's amazing to watch Caleb's vocabulary take off and see his interests expand and develop.
I've learned that my purpose right now is to create a safe and loving home environment for my family. It was very hard for me when I gave up my career to stay at home but I certainly don't regret it. I love being able to build my life around my family instead of trying to fit my family into my life. I've become a lot more content with my role as a SAHM. I'm still not keen on the cooking and cleaning end of things but I try to remind myself that those things are a way of serving my family. It helps that Adam doesn't mind having spaghetti at least once a week as long as I throw in an evening of shake n bake chicken once in a while.
I've spent the last year doing a lot of reading and learning about birth and breastfeeding as well as homeschooling. It's been fascinating to find out all of this neat stuff that I get to apply to my family's life. And it's been great to see Adam become more and more excited about homeschooling too. He was always supportive but excitement about it is even better.
Caleb and I have made some great friends over the last year and had tonnes of playdates. He's starting to get better with sharing and he not only remembers his friend but is finally saying their names. It's awesome to be able to to tell him which friend we are going to visit and he gets excited to play with them. He even recognizes vehicles when they pull up in the yard! Though I have learned to not mention the playdate until right before we leave or right before they arrive. Saves us the heartache if plans change or if he skips his nap out of excitement.
The impending arrival of our new little one is coming. I actually have a frozen meal in my freezer (which is more than I had with Caleb) so hopefully I can get some more made so we don't starve. We are still trying to figure out sleeping arrangements as Caleb is still pretty keen on snuggling really close to me at night. He also still likes to nurse down so it will be interesting to see how those things will need to be adjusted when there's a newborn in the bed too. My hope is that Caleb will snuggle more with his Papa instead of me. We've also been talking about how babies need lots of diapers (to which Caleb replies that he doesn't need diapers because he's a big boy) and that they need lots of "milkies." Caleb is usually pretty good with saying he will share milkies with the new baby so that's a very good thin. He also hugs my belly and says "hi" to the baby. I'm in the process of making a book for him on his entrance into the world with my digital scrapbooking program. I still have a lot more work to do on it though so I will really need to make the effort to get it done by Christmas.
I think that Caleb is about to wake up now though (I can hear his breath change in the monitor right now) so that's all for now folks! Happy Birthday to me and Yay! for a whole year of blogging!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
An Exclusive Club
So last night when Adam came in from milking he wanted me to listen to a song. He said that the words really spoke to him. The song was "I Believe in Angels" by George Canyon.
I had heard the song before but I don't usually pay really close attention to the words when I'm listening to the radio. Adam listens to the radio pretty much all day every day when he's working in the machinery or milking in the parlour. Not to mention that he has an amazing aptitude for deciphering and remembering lyrics anyway (i.e. he knows what AC/DC is saying!).
Anyway, back to the song. There is a line that says "to watch them sleep how could anyone say that there's no Heaven? Man, there's no way" That was the line that Adam really wanted me to hear (and we actually had to replay that part because I coughed or shuffled a plate or something during those two seconds *oops*). He mentioned that it was a great line in a great song but there was more to it than that. We both sat there and totally agreed with George Canyon. We've spent countless hours just watching Caleb sleep. Not to mention watching Caleb do such simple little things like smile or eat breakfast or play in his sandbox. And the "bigger milestones" like learning to laugh and crawl and then walk and talk. How could such a tiny person know exactly how to do all those things if there wasn't a Creator with an awesome plan for him and his life?
We kept talking about how people without children don't understand how incredible that feeling really is. Other people listen to that song and think "oh how sweet" but it isn't really until you have your own children that you truly understand the depth of it. When you become a parent you automatically belong to this "club" that understands heaven in your child's eyes. A club in which you can talk to another mother (or father) and completely understand where they're coming from when they talk about their relationship with their children. A club that allows you to understand more deeply the joys of actually raising children, despite the poopy diapers, sleepless nights (with newborns or teenagers!), financial responsibility, and the difference that it has made in your marriage. All those things can be looked at as negatives.
I have heard so many people say that they are not ready to give up their current lifestyle. "They ruin your lives" and "they cost to much" are the most common two that I hear. Yet if you ask anyone who has children, neither of those have come to fruition. They will tell you that children have enhanced their lives and that somehow they always manage to make ends meet. And yes you might have to do without some luxuries but if you ask a parent whether they would choose to have their child or an annual all inclusive vacation, or a new car, or more nights out with friends, they will tell you that they would never give up their child to go back to their old lifestyle.
As many of you know I read, a LOT, and some of the things that I've been reading on are the values that society tries to teach us. We are being raised to have a "things before people" mentality. Or "if it feels good, do it." Become a parent puts you in an exclusive club that has proven time and time again that putting people first is where you find "true happiness" (such a corny phrase and I hate using is but can't think of anything better) and that life is not all about you. Contrary to popular belief, people are much happier when they are putting another's needs in front of their own. When you have a child you have very little choice but to put his/her needs before your own. And that's not only okay, it's exactly what we were created to do.
So to all the parents out there, I'm glad to share membership in this club that is based on self-sacrifice, giving without receiving and yet feeling more fulfilled that those not yet in this club.
I had heard the song before but I don't usually pay really close attention to the words when I'm listening to the radio. Adam listens to the radio pretty much all day every day when he's working in the machinery or milking in the parlour. Not to mention that he has an amazing aptitude for deciphering and remembering lyrics anyway (i.e. he knows what AC/DC is saying!).
Anyway, back to the song. There is a line that says "to watch them sleep how could anyone say that there's no Heaven? Man, there's no way" That was the line that Adam really wanted me to hear (and we actually had to replay that part because I coughed or shuffled a plate or something during those two seconds *oops*). He mentioned that it was a great line in a great song but there was more to it than that. We both sat there and totally agreed with George Canyon. We've spent countless hours just watching Caleb sleep. Not to mention watching Caleb do such simple little things like smile or eat breakfast or play in his sandbox. And the "bigger milestones" like learning to laugh and crawl and then walk and talk. How could such a tiny person know exactly how to do all those things if there wasn't a Creator with an awesome plan for him and his life?
We kept talking about how people without children don't understand how incredible that feeling really is. Other people listen to that song and think "oh how sweet" but it isn't really until you have your own children that you truly understand the depth of it. When you become a parent you automatically belong to this "club" that understands heaven in your child's eyes. A club in which you can talk to another mother (or father) and completely understand where they're coming from when they talk about their relationship with their children. A club that allows you to understand more deeply the joys of actually raising children, despite the poopy diapers, sleepless nights (with newborns or teenagers!), financial responsibility, and the difference that it has made in your marriage. All those things can be looked at as negatives.
I have heard so many people say that they are not ready to give up their current lifestyle. "They ruin your lives" and "they cost to much" are the most common two that I hear. Yet if you ask anyone who has children, neither of those have come to fruition. They will tell you that children have enhanced their lives and that somehow they always manage to make ends meet. And yes you might have to do without some luxuries but if you ask a parent whether they would choose to have their child or an annual all inclusive vacation, or a new car, or more nights out with friends, they will tell you that they would never give up their child to go back to their old lifestyle.
As many of you know I read, a LOT, and some of the things that I've been reading on are the values that society tries to teach us. We are being raised to have a "things before people" mentality. Or "if it feels good, do it." Become a parent puts you in an exclusive club that has proven time and time again that putting people first is where you find "true happiness" (such a corny phrase and I hate using is but can't think of anything better) and that life is not all about you. Contrary to popular belief, people are much happier when they are putting another's needs in front of their own. When you have a child you have very little choice but to put his/her needs before your own. And that's not only okay, it's exactly what we were created to do.
So to all the parents out there, I'm glad to share membership in this club that is based on self-sacrifice, giving without receiving and yet feeling more fulfilled that those not yet in this club.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Thoughts for the Future
A few of you know that I have been thinking/planning to homeschool my child(ren) instead of sending them to public or private school. Through my life I've attended public schools, Christian schools, as well as homeschooled for a couple of years. I will be honost and say that I did well in all 3 systems. I think that school was something that I always enjoyed. Perhaps it's because my dad was a teacher and he instilled a love of learning in me so that I was always eager to pick up a new book and read. Perhaps it's just because I learn very easily in the way that the school systems teach. You pick up a book, you read it, you take some notes, then you write a test. For me this was always very straightforward and simple to understand. Not that I always go the best grades, mind you, but at least I never really believed that I was "stupid" or "didn't read well" or worse, "didn't learn quick enough." Those are all phrases I've heard people close to me say actually.
Since I had pretty good experiences in all three systems, what would cause the big urge in me to homeschool instead of make use of the public/private system?
I came across a website that made me think about my reasons for wanting to homeschool and actually put them on paper. This was an awesome experience for me to go through because not only did it make me evaluate my reasoning (part of it is because I just can't stand the thought of sending my children away from me for 8 hours a day, I want to spend that time with them instead) and expand on that. It was also good for Adam to see what some of the reasons were. He was a little more skeptical of the whole "homeschooling thing" because he only ever experienced going to a Christian school (the same one actually) for all of his education.
So anyway, here's my thoughts that I put on paper as I followed the outline on the aforementioned website. Keep in mind that these are a rough draft and unedited. I realized as I read through them again that some of the wording is awkward but it's quite late now and I don't feel like editing them so I'm just going to type them as I wrote them several months ago :
My Educational Beliefs
1. I believe children should love learning.
2. I believe a parent's main education to a child should be to teach him/her to:
a) Love God wholeheartedly
b) Love others as they love themselves
c) Love him/herself (confidence/self-esteem)
3. I believe all children learn by different methods and learning should be tailored to suit the child (not vice versa)
4. I believe children are naturally curious and should not be discouraged from pursing those interests.
5. I believe education should not be resitricted to a certain subject or method.
6. I believe a parent/teacher should only ever have enthusiasm about a child learning, not disappointment over what they haven't learned.
Life Goals for My Child
1. I hope he learns to listen to his Heavently Father in all things.
2. I hope he shows commitment to what he starts and is a man of his words.
3. I hope he becomes a wonderful, loving, involved husband and father (if God leads him that way).
4. I hope he does everything to his best ability.
5. A man of impeccable morals and ethics, I hope he always does the right thing, no matter what others do.
6. I hope he takes care of the mind and body God has given him.
7. I hope he is not afraid to be who God made him to be. Not ashamed of who he is.
Why we are going to homeschool our children
1. No one has a better vested interes in thier education than we do.
2. To give us flexibility of time to pursue life instead of grades.
3. To stay close to our children - emotionally, mentally, and physically.
4. To take the money we could spend on school and use it for education instead.
5. To be the favorite and respected teacher that they think about when they grow up.
6. Because I want my kids to learn in a way they enjoy.
7. Because kids learn better/more if they are not restricted by graces/curriculum.
8. Because I will not allow anyone to tell or make my child feel stupid.
9. My children will learn with, intereact with, and appreciate children in all age groups.
10. So we can learn right alongside our children.
11. Our school systems sucks.
12. To know what our children are learning.
Since I had pretty good experiences in all three systems, what would cause the big urge in me to homeschool instead of make use of the public/private system?
I came across a website that made me think about my reasons for wanting to homeschool and actually put them on paper. This was an awesome experience for me to go through because not only did it make me evaluate my reasoning (part of it is because I just can't stand the thought of sending my children away from me for 8 hours a day, I want to spend that time with them instead) and expand on that. It was also good for Adam to see what some of the reasons were. He was a little more skeptical of the whole "homeschooling thing" because he only ever experienced going to a Christian school (the same one actually) for all of his education.
So anyway, here's my thoughts that I put on paper as I followed the outline on the aforementioned website. Keep in mind that these are a rough draft and unedited. I realized as I read through them again that some of the wording is awkward but it's quite late now and I don't feel like editing them so I'm just going to type them as I wrote them several months ago :
My Educational Beliefs
1. I believe children should love learning.
2. I believe a parent's main education to a child should be to teach him/her to:
a) Love God wholeheartedly
b) Love others as they love themselves
c) Love him/herself (confidence/self-esteem)
3. I believe all children learn by different methods and learning should be tailored to suit the child (not vice versa)
4. I believe children are naturally curious and should not be discouraged from pursing those interests.
5. I believe education should not be resitricted to a certain subject or method.
6. I believe a parent/teacher should only ever have enthusiasm about a child learning, not disappointment over what they haven't learned.
Life Goals for My Child
1. I hope he learns to listen to his Heavently Father in all things.
2. I hope he shows commitment to what he starts and is a man of his words.
3. I hope he becomes a wonderful, loving, involved husband and father (if God leads him that way).
4. I hope he does everything to his best ability.
5. A man of impeccable morals and ethics, I hope he always does the right thing, no matter what others do.
6. I hope he takes care of the mind and body God has given him.
7. I hope he is not afraid to be who God made him to be. Not ashamed of who he is.
Why we are going to homeschool our children
1. No one has a better vested interes in thier education than we do.
2. To give us flexibility of time to pursue life instead of grades.
3. To stay close to our children - emotionally, mentally, and physically.
4. To take the money we could spend on school and use it for education instead.
5. To be the favorite and respected teacher that they think about when they grow up.
6. Because I want my kids to learn in a way they enjoy.
7. Because kids learn better/more if they are not restricted by graces/curriculum.
8. Because I will not allow anyone to tell or make my child feel stupid.
9. My children will learn with, intereact with, and appreciate children in all age groups.
10. So we can learn right alongside our children.
11. Our school systems sucks.
12. To know what our children are learning.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
The Perfect Parent - Part 2
So last week I talked about the toddler in the grocery store. I just want to address the comment that was made about the discipline factor involved in parenting. I completely agree that most parents need to be more patient and just accept their children will be children and try things out. But, in my mind at least, patience and discipline go hand in hand. I read a really great post about spanking (can't find the link at the moment) and how it is one thing to spank your child when you're angry. It's completely different to spank your child out of love. If you are angry you are much less likely to be fair and gentle in your discipline. If you are exercise patience, you try to understand the child's motive behind the behavior and thus respond more confidently and in a way that will (hopefully) get the child to understand that you love them but will not accept this behaviour. (This is not a post to encourage or discourage spanking, I just wanted to illustrate).
Now, onto my original thoughts for this post.
We do all the right things (or at least try to) and pray for our children and teach them all we can about Jesus and His love and his Word. We discipline them with love and patience. We teach them right from wrong. We take heart the verse that tells us to "train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6)
Then we hear from the principle that our child is skipping class. Or was caught smoking.
Or perhaps they have decided to stop attending church when they move out, or marry an unbeliever, or constantly chase after money, or live in any other non-Christian way. Ways that they certainly didn't learn from us!
I often think about how I would feel if, after all of the "good" parenting choices Adam and I make along the way, Caleb ends up going astray. We all know families where all the children were raised in the same household by the same parents yet one of the children becomes a "black sheep." Or some families where it seems that as soon as the children are out the door, the run the opposite direction and never look back.
It's easy for parents to start looking back and pick things out of their history with their child that should have been a "sign" of things to come. Maybe if I had attended more of their hockey games... Maybe if I was a little more lenient/strict with curfews... Maybe if I had paid more attention to who he/she was hanging out with... Maybe if I dealt with that particular incident better... It's a true fulfillment of the saying that "hindsight is 20/20." We can look back and see all the times that we could have done things differently. All the choices that we "should" have made, but did something differently. I know of many parents who beat themselves up by agonizing over every little detail of their child's past to see how they could have prevented things that are happening in their present.
I'm going to be perfectly honest by saying that there probably was a better ways to deal with those particular "hind sights." That being said, you need to consider this. Did you make those decisions based on God's guidance? Did you deal with situations out of love for your child? Or did you make those decisions with the intent that your child stray/rebel? What I'm basically asking is did you push your child in that direction on purpose? I can almost guarantee that the answer to that question is NO.
Since you did not consciously choose to send your child(ren) down a path away from the Lord then it would make sense that you also not blame yourself for their faulty decisions. A friend once told me that you can have a really great child but you can't take credit for all of it. Some children are just easier to parent than others. I always say that God has blessed me with an amazing child. I fully realize that Caleb's personality (that God given design) plays a big role in how easy he (usually) is to parent. On the flip side, we can't blame ourselves when they start making bad choices. God gave us Free Will, and He gave that same Free Will to our children.
Due to the Fall of Man and the introduction of sin into the world, we can't really fault ourselves for not making perfect decisions all the time. And we have to realize that imperfect parents raise imperfect children. No matter how amazing of a parent we are, there's nothing we can do to make our children turn out perfectly. That sounds a little disheartening doesn't it? If that's the case, what point is there in ever trying at all? So where do we find the hope?
The hope lies in God's promise to us in Proverbs 22:6. We sometimes forget that just because we teach a child something and live as an example to them their whole lives. they may not always do exaclty what we want them to do. For example, I have never climbed over the back of the couch. Caleb decided to do this. I was able to catch the little stinker before he fell of the other side and hurt himself. Where did he get the idea that climbing over the couch was okay? I have no idea! It's not quite the same scale as some of the life-altering/threatening decisions that plague older children but the principle is the same. I can tell Caleb that he shouldn't climb the couch, I can explain the results, but he may still end up doing it anyway. The only thing that I can do, as his mother, is be there to comfort him when he falls. But I can take comfort in the fact that no matter how many times he may fall off the couch (even after me telling him not to cimb it) when he is little, he will learn. Eventually. It may not be for another 10 years, but he will learn.
The same applies to teenagers and adult children. If you are constantly there to comfort them when they fall, the will eventually learn that falling hurts. They will also learn that you love them despite their imperfection and you can help them understand the God loves all of us in spite of our imperfections. Note: I'm not encouraging you to "bail your kid out" every time he/she gets into trouble, kids need love, not money and other material things. And we can take hope in the fact that EVENTUALLY they will turn back to the Truth. Once a child of God's, always a child of God's. He doesn't let go of His children.
So that concludes my current thoughts on being a perfect parent. I will apologize for and mistakes of strange phrasing. This has been an interesting post to write because Caleb woke up halfway through, and Adam came in the house so I've been a little distracted and all over the place. And I don't have time to give it a final edit because I'm going on a date tonight!
Now, onto my original thoughts for this post.
We do all the right things (or at least try to) and pray for our children and teach them all we can about Jesus and His love and his Word. We discipline them with love and patience. We teach them right from wrong. We take heart the verse that tells us to "train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6)
Then we hear from the principle that our child is skipping class. Or was caught smoking.
Or perhaps they have decided to stop attending church when they move out, or marry an unbeliever, or constantly chase after money, or live in any other non-Christian way. Ways that they certainly didn't learn from us!
I often think about how I would feel if, after all of the "good" parenting choices Adam and I make along the way, Caleb ends up going astray. We all know families where all the children were raised in the same household by the same parents yet one of the children becomes a "black sheep." Or some families where it seems that as soon as the children are out the door, the run the opposite direction and never look back.
It's easy for parents to start looking back and pick things out of their history with their child that should have been a "sign" of things to come. Maybe if I had attended more of their hockey games... Maybe if I was a little more lenient/strict with curfews... Maybe if I had paid more attention to who he/she was hanging out with... Maybe if I dealt with that particular incident better... It's a true fulfillment of the saying that "hindsight is 20/20." We can look back and see all the times that we could have done things differently. All the choices that we "should" have made, but did something differently. I know of many parents who beat themselves up by agonizing over every little detail of their child's past to see how they could have prevented things that are happening in their present.
I'm going to be perfectly honest by saying that there probably was a better ways to deal with those particular "hind sights." That being said, you need to consider this. Did you make those decisions based on God's guidance? Did you deal with situations out of love for your child? Or did you make those decisions with the intent that your child stray/rebel? What I'm basically asking is did you push your child in that direction on purpose? I can almost guarantee that the answer to that question is NO.
Since you did not consciously choose to send your child(ren) down a path away from the Lord then it would make sense that you also not blame yourself for their faulty decisions. A friend once told me that you can have a really great child but you can't take credit for all of it. Some children are just easier to parent than others. I always say that God has blessed me with an amazing child. I fully realize that Caleb's personality (that God given design) plays a big role in how easy he (usually) is to parent. On the flip side, we can't blame ourselves when they start making bad choices. God gave us Free Will, and He gave that same Free Will to our children.
Due to the Fall of Man and the introduction of sin into the world, we can't really fault ourselves for not making perfect decisions all the time. And we have to realize that imperfect parents raise imperfect children. No matter how amazing of a parent we are, there's nothing we can do to make our children turn out perfectly. That sounds a little disheartening doesn't it? If that's the case, what point is there in ever trying at all? So where do we find the hope?
The hope lies in God's promise to us in Proverbs 22:6. We sometimes forget that just because we teach a child something and live as an example to them their whole lives. they may not always do exaclty what we want them to do. For example, I have never climbed over the back of the couch. Caleb decided to do this. I was able to catch the little stinker before he fell of the other side and hurt himself. Where did he get the idea that climbing over the couch was okay? I have no idea! It's not quite the same scale as some of the life-altering/threatening decisions that plague older children but the principle is the same. I can tell Caleb that he shouldn't climb the couch, I can explain the results, but he may still end up doing it anyway. The only thing that I can do, as his mother, is be there to comfort him when he falls. But I can take comfort in the fact that no matter how many times he may fall off the couch (even after me telling him not to cimb it) when he is little, he will learn. Eventually. It may not be for another 10 years, but he will learn.
The same applies to teenagers and adult children. If you are constantly there to comfort them when they fall, the will eventually learn that falling hurts. They will also learn that you love them despite their imperfection and you can help them understand the God loves all of us in spite of our imperfections. Note: I'm not encouraging you to "bail your kid out" every time he/she gets into trouble, kids need love, not money and other material things. And we can take hope in the fact that EVENTUALLY they will turn back to the Truth. Once a child of God's, always a child of God's. He doesn't let go of His children.
So that concludes my current thoughts on being a perfect parent. I will apologize for and mistakes of strange phrasing. This has been an interesting post to write because Caleb woke up halfway through, and Adam came in the house so I've been a little distracted and all over the place. And I don't have time to give it a final edit because I'm going on a date tonight!
Monday, January 4, 2010
Say No to No
I was on a forum a few days ago and there was a question that was asked by a mom. In summary, she was asking if 6 months was too young to tell your child "NO." I was a little disappointed by some of the responses given. The majority of them went something like this "I've heard it's not good to tell them NO but I do it anyway" or like this "I've been told NO and I turned out fine."
It's not a great comparison but it sounds like what people say in response to drinking and driving. "I know that I've had a couple drinks and I shouldn't drive but I'm going to do it anyway. Hey look, I made it home safely!" or "I know lots of people that drive after a couple beers and they're just fine." Just because not every time ends in tragedy doesn't make it the right thing to do.
Saying NO is something I've got a strong opinion about (I have strong opinions about a lot of things lol). The reason why we're told that saying NO is a bad thing is because it's a negative word and we're supposed to be in a world full of positive parenting, aren't we?
Here is what I put as my response to this question:
I say "ah ah" with my son and have since he was little. I don't personally like saying no all the time (though there are occasions that call for it). I just feel that if a child hears "no" and "don't do that" all the time it instills a lot of negativity in them. I think that a lot of "no's" isn't really setting boundaries. It's just telling them everything they can't do.
If my son puts his feet on the table for example, instead of saying "don't do that" I tell him, "feet go under the table." I give him something positive that he can do. If he throws a toy, I don't instantly tell him he's doing something wrong. I tell him "you need to be gentle with your toys" or " please put the toy back on the shelf." Put yourself in your child's shoes. How do you feel when some one's telling you "no" constantly and telling you you can't do anything. It would probably exasperate you as well. It's about giving kids opportunities to listen and do the right thing, instead of being scolded for doing the wrong thing all the time. Even if you do decide that "no" is a word you want to use, always back it up with something positive. "No, you can't do that, But you can do this instead."
With the work that I used to do and the atmosphere in the office I've learned the value of positivity. I used to work in a office that was mostly positive but there was still a decent amount of grumbling about customers, bills, the boss etc. I felt very drained after a day at work and wasn't always in the greatest mood when I got home. The negative things people say truly to affect you, whether you want them to or not.
The next place that I worked has an extremely positive atmosphere. There was very minimal grumbling and complaining. Instead, if there was a problem, we figured out how to deal with it. Compliments and encouraging words abounded. I was excited to go into the office and felt energized when I left! I felt like I could conquer the world and that I was capable of doing whatever I put my mind too. While I worked at this "positive office" (for lack of a better term) I also did a lot of reading on personal development and heard a number of speakers on the subject. I will never forget one phrase I learned "don't walk away from the negative people in your life. RUN from them!" We all have complainers in our circle of friends. These are the "woe is me" people. They are draining to be around and you feel worse after you see them than you did before your visit.
I am talking about this because that's exactly what constant NOs reflect to your children. What kind of difference would it make if that negative friend were to change her (or his) thinking from "I don't want to go to work because my boss doesn't appreciate me and always takes advantage of me" to something along the lines of "I'm really looking forward dealing with the customers and my co-workers at my work"? Do you think it might change her whole outlook on the day? (I say her because most of my friends are female so I think female when I think friend. I'm not talking about anyone in particular.)
Now put that same attitude towards out children. Do we want them to grow up with negativity all around them? Do we want to be that negative person that our children should "run away" from? Do we want them walk into the living room and see all the NOs they can't touch and start to feel down and limited in what they can do? Or do we want them to walk into the living room and say, "I know I can't play with that but I get to play with ALL THESE TOYS!!!!"
This was what took place at my breakfast table:
Caleb: signed Cheese
Mama: You can have peanut butter sandwich or your apple.
Caleb: signed cheese (quite frantically)
Mama: You can have peanut butter sandwich your apple.
Caleb: signed cheese
Mama: Sandwich or apple.
Caleb: chose neither. And didn't get cheese either.
I "won" that discussion and didn't have to say NO even once.
I have a corner with a table that has picture frames on it. Caleb is not allowed to touch them. He know this and I've never had to tell him NO. I tell him "this corner is not for Caleb." Or "these are mama's, you can play with your toys instead." Some things have to be repeated more often but Caleb is proof that you can have a NO-free household. (It's very cute because he actually points at the corner and shakes his head and then moves on to his toy box. Most of the time anyway, sometimes he needs a gentle reminder. The reminder consists of me saying sternly "Caleb" and he usually listens right away.)
Besides all of the positive encouragement that Caleb gets from this there is another wonderful benefit. He's nearly 2 and has never told me no either.
If you want more ideas here is a great article on 18 Ways to say NO Positively.
It's not a great comparison but it sounds like what people say in response to drinking and driving. "I know that I've had a couple drinks and I shouldn't drive but I'm going to do it anyway. Hey look, I made it home safely!" or "I know lots of people that drive after a couple beers and they're just fine." Just because not every time ends in tragedy doesn't make it the right thing to do.
Saying NO is something I've got a strong opinion about (I have strong opinions about a lot of things lol). The reason why we're told that saying NO is a bad thing is because it's a negative word and we're supposed to be in a world full of positive parenting, aren't we?
Here is what I put as my response to this question:
I say "ah ah" with my son and have since he was little. I don't personally like saying no all the time (though there are occasions that call for it). I just feel that if a child hears "no" and "don't do that" all the time it instills a lot of negativity in them. I think that a lot of "no's" isn't really setting boundaries. It's just telling them everything they can't do.
If my son puts his feet on the table for example, instead of saying "don't do that" I tell him, "feet go under the table." I give him something positive that he can do. If he throws a toy, I don't instantly tell him he's doing something wrong. I tell him "you need to be gentle with your toys" or " please put the toy back on the shelf." Put yourself in your child's shoes. How do you feel when some one's telling you "no" constantly and telling you you can't do anything. It would probably exasperate you as well. It's about giving kids opportunities to listen and do the right thing, instead of being scolded for doing the wrong thing all the time. Even if you do decide that "no" is a word you want to use, always back it up with something positive. "No, you can't do that, But you can do this instead."
With the work that I used to do and the atmosphere in the office I've learned the value of positivity. I used to work in a office that was mostly positive but there was still a decent amount of grumbling about customers, bills, the boss etc. I felt very drained after a day at work and wasn't always in the greatest mood when I got home. The negative things people say truly to affect you, whether you want them to or not.
The next place that I worked has an extremely positive atmosphere. There was very minimal grumbling and complaining. Instead, if there was a problem, we figured out how to deal with it. Compliments and encouraging words abounded. I was excited to go into the office and felt energized when I left! I felt like I could conquer the world and that I was capable of doing whatever I put my mind too. While I worked at this "positive office" (for lack of a better term) I also did a lot of reading on personal development and heard a number of speakers on the subject. I will never forget one phrase I learned "don't walk away from the negative people in your life. RUN from them!" We all have complainers in our circle of friends. These are the "woe is me" people. They are draining to be around and you feel worse after you see them than you did before your visit.
I am talking about this because that's exactly what constant NOs reflect to your children. What kind of difference would it make if that negative friend were to change her (or his) thinking from "I don't want to go to work because my boss doesn't appreciate me and always takes advantage of me" to something along the lines of "I'm really looking forward dealing with the customers and my co-workers at my work"? Do you think it might change her whole outlook on the day? (I say her because most of my friends are female so I think female when I think friend. I'm not talking about anyone in particular.)
Now put that same attitude towards out children. Do we want them to grow up with negativity all around them? Do we want to be that negative person that our children should "run away" from? Do we want them walk into the living room and see all the NOs they can't touch and start to feel down and limited in what they can do? Or do we want them to walk into the living room and say, "I know I can't play with that but I get to play with ALL THESE TOYS!!!!"
This was what took place at my breakfast table:
Caleb: signed Cheese
Mama: You can have peanut butter sandwich or your apple.
Caleb: signed cheese (quite frantically)
Mama: You can have peanut butter sandwich your apple.
Caleb: signed cheese
Mama: Sandwich or apple.
Caleb: chose neither. And didn't get cheese either.
I "won" that discussion and didn't have to say NO even once.
I have a corner with a table that has picture frames on it. Caleb is not allowed to touch them. He know this and I've never had to tell him NO. I tell him "this corner is not for Caleb." Or "these are mama's, you can play with your toys instead." Some things have to be repeated more often but Caleb is proof that you can have a NO-free household. (It's very cute because he actually points at the corner and shakes his head and then moves on to his toy box. Most of the time anyway, sometimes he needs a gentle reminder. The reminder consists of me saying sternly "Caleb" and he usually listens right away.)
Besides all of the positive encouragement that Caleb gets from this there is another wonderful benefit. He's nearly 2 and has never told me no either.
If you want more ideas here is a great article on 18 Ways to say NO Positively.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Babies and Housework
I have contemplated writing on this topic for quite some time. I actually dreamt about this post last night and what I should write in it! A big part of me hesitated because it's definitely not something that I have down to a "t." But it occurred to me that's probably the point. You don't have to do it all perfectly.
As of the time of my writing this I have dishes in my sink, laundry in my washer and dryer, toys all over the floor and I think that all the floors in my house needs to be either swept/mopped or vacuumed. I'm ignoring that part of my housework right now. I focus instead on the fact that I folded and put away 3 loads of laundry yesterday, I cleaned all my baking pans yesterday, I have a cake in the oven (for my mom's birthday today) and my family is fed and happy (Adam cooked breakfast).
Probably later today, when Caleb is napping, I will spend some time finishing up my laundry (diapers are in the washer so I kind of need those). If he's still napping I might even get up the gumption to clean my kitchen.
I had the HARDEST time getting into a routine when Caleb was first born. Part of it was that I just physically did not have the engery (I was recovering from a c-section and suffered a lot of fatigue) so I spent most of my days napping. I tried very hard not to allow myself to feel guilty about it. I think that it was about 6 months when I noticed that I didn't need to nap every single time Caleb napped. But I also didn't want to spend that precious alone time cleaning house. I found that when I cleaned during his nap, I would resent when he woke up. So I made a deal with myself: I would take 10 minutes to "power clean" and then I gave myself permission to sit down to take some "me time." As he got older and his naps were a little more consistent (and longer) I began to expand that time to 15 min and then 30 min, but I always kept at least half of his nap time for personal time.
Now that Caleb is down to one nap per day I find myself adjusting my housework again. Certain things I can do when he is awake (such as washing dishes with a ltitle helper or vacuuming because he loves the noise) so I spend some time in the morning doing that. Most kids are happiest in the morning after they've eaten breakfast and had a good sleep. Caleb will usually play on his own or help me with whatever I'm doing. When he goes down to nap is the best time to do laundry for me because that way I don't have to fold everything two or three times. But a lot of times when he is napping I've already accomplished a couple of things in the morning. That means I get to take that quiet time to read or cruise the internet or play computer games etc. When he wakes up in the middle of his nap (he's been doing that a lot lately) I can take the time to lay down wih him for half an hour and be able to focus on him instead of everything that I should or could be doing in that time instead.
Whenever I choose to spend time with Caleb over housework I have an inner dialogue with myself. I ask some questions: What do I feel like I should be doing right now? (washing dishes) What will happen if I don't do it? (I'll have to do them later) What does Caleb need from me right now? (love and hugs) What will happen if I don't do that? (he will cry and be cranky) Which is better to do in the longrun? Caleb nearly always wins out.
Like I said, I'm not the perfect housewife. I cook dinner AFTER my husband is in from work (for a couple reasons - he can watch Caleb and he can remind me to cook and tell me what he's hungry for). I only wash my floor once a week (on a good week). I usually only do laundry when Caleb or I have run out of clean clothes to wear. My bathroom doesn't get cleaned every week (*gasp*). But my family still loves me and I get to spend every day feeling like I've accomplished what's important.
My mom always says that people want to see me they are welcome to come by. If people want to see my house they have to make an appointment in advance. I also have had friends say to never apologize for your house or kids.
As of the time of my writing this I have dishes in my sink, laundry in my washer and dryer, toys all over the floor and I think that all the floors in my house needs to be either swept/mopped or vacuumed. I'm ignoring that part of my housework right now. I focus instead on the fact that I folded and put away 3 loads of laundry yesterday, I cleaned all my baking pans yesterday, I have a cake in the oven (for my mom's birthday today) and my family is fed and happy (Adam cooked breakfast).
Probably later today, when Caleb is napping, I will spend some time finishing up my laundry (diapers are in the washer so I kind of need those). If he's still napping I might even get up the gumption to clean my kitchen.
I had the HARDEST time getting into a routine when Caleb was first born. Part of it was that I just physically did not have the engery (I was recovering from a c-section and suffered a lot of fatigue) so I spent most of my days napping. I tried very hard not to allow myself to feel guilty about it. I think that it was about 6 months when I noticed that I didn't need to nap every single time Caleb napped. But I also didn't want to spend that precious alone time cleaning house. I found that when I cleaned during his nap, I would resent when he woke up. So I made a deal with myself: I would take 10 minutes to "power clean" and then I gave myself permission to sit down to take some "me time." As he got older and his naps were a little more consistent (and longer) I began to expand that time to 15 min and then 30 min, but I always kept at least half of his nap time for personal time.
Now that Caleb is down to one nap per day I find myself adjusting my housework again. Certain things I can do when he is awake (such as washing dishes with a ltitle helper or vacuuming because he loves the noise) so I spend some time in the morning doing that. Most kids are happiest in the morning after they've eaten breakfast and had a good sleep. Caleb will usually play on his own or help me with whatever I'm doing. When he goes down to nap is the best time to do laundry for me because that way I don't have to fold everything two or three times. But a lot of times when he is napping I've already accomplished a couple of things in the morning. That means I get to take that quiet time to read or cruise the internet or play computer games etc. When he wakes up in the middle of his nap (he's been doing that a lot lately) I can take the time to lay down wih him for half an hour and be able to focus on him instead of everything that I should or could be doing in that time instead.
Whenever I choose to spend time with Caleb over housework I have an inner dialogue with myself. I ask some questions: What do I feel like I should be doing right now? (washing dishes) What will happen if I don't do it? (I'll have to do them later) What does Caleb need from me right now? (love and hugs) What will happen if I don't do that? (he will cry and be cranky) Which is better to do in the longrun? Caleb nearly always wins out.
Like I said, I'm not the perfect housewife. I cook dinner AFTER my husband is in from work (for a couple reasons - he can watch Caleb and he can remind me to cook and tell me what he's hungry for). I only wash my floor once a week (on a good week). I usually only do laundry when Caleb or I have run out of clean clothes to wear. My bathroom doesn't get cleaned every week (*gasp*). But my family still loves me and I get to spend every day feeling like I've accomplished what's important.
My mom always says that people want to see me they are welcome to come by. If people want to see my house they have to make an appointment in advance. I also have had friends say to never apologize for your house or kids.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
The Value of Stewardship
I've had a hymn stuck in my head the last while. It comes on and off and has been circulating through my head for probably several months.
The hymn is "Living for Jesus" and it's by Thomas Chisholm.
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/l/i/livingfj.htm
There's a link to the tune/lyrics if you've never heard of it.
I think that it's been on the tip of my tongue lately is because living for Jesus is something that I really want to do and want to teach Caleb how to do.
I was just cleaning up my kitchen (and singing this song) and got to thinking about what kind of values I would like to instill into Caleb. The value I was thinking of tonight in particular is being a steward to the earth. As Christian we are called to take care of this Earth that God created for us. I look at my garbage can on a regular basis and can't help but think about this mandate. Is all that garbage really necessary? What is it doing to the environment? Is there a better way?
I do cloth diapers but the biggest reason I switched to cloth was so that Caleb would potty train earlier. The fact that they were cheaper and environmentally friendly were just bonuses. I recycle my bottles and cans because I get money back on them. Adam tells me that all of our garbage gets incinerated anyway so it's not a big deal. But it's still a little unsettling to go through a bag or two of garbage every week. And we've only got three people, I can't imagine how much garbage a bigger family goes through!
It's not as easy (in my mind anyway) for us to recycle paper and such. We don't have a blue box that we can set out on the curb every week. First off, I don't have space to put another bin for it and secondly, it's kind of a pain to drive it into town to dump it every time it's full (that sounds really lame even as I type it). I am going to take it one step at a time.
I have decided to start composting. I don't know a lot about it but I have a bowl that I have been putting leftovers and egg shells in. I am planning to make a composte pile in the old horse pasture next to our house and am hoping to till some of the pasture next spring to make a vegetable garden (another thing I want to teach my child(ren) but I have never done). Step 1 is to composte. Step 2 might be to find space for a paper recycling box. Step 3.... I'm not sure yet. I'm sure that there's much more that I could do to become more "green" but I haven't thought that far ahead.
I never thought that I would lean towards environmentalism. To be honest, the word always left kind of a bad taste in my mouth. Let's face it, I live in Oil Country, good ole Alberta! But the more I think about it, the more I want to instill in Caleb the fact that we have been charged with taking care of this world. It's a pretty high calling and if I want him to take God's word seriously then I should too, shouldn't I? Children learn best by example so I better learn to be a good example for Caleb. Any beliefs and values that I want Caleb to learn, I better live them too. Wow, I have a lot to learn if I want to teach Caleb to be the man of God that he's going to grow up into!
Stewardship, reading his Bible and praying everyday, how to treat his future spouse, attitude of gratitude, loving everyone (even if you don't like them), trusting God's providence, putting Christ on the throne of our heart (and keeping Him there), making disciples of all the nations..... I have a lot to learn! Praise the Lord that He gives us the opportunity to grow as our children grow and learn as our children learn. I used to look at all of this and get overwhelmed but have learned to be ever so grateful that I don't have to teach Caleb all of this alone!
The hymn is "Living for Jesus" and it's by Thomas Chisholm.
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/l/i/livingfj.htm
There's a link to the tune/lyrics if you've never heard of it.
I think that it's been on the tip of my tongue lately is because living for Jesus is something that I really want to do and want to teach Caleb how to do.
I was just cleaning up my kitchen (and singing this song) and got to thinking about what kind of values I would like to instill into Caleb. The value I was thinking of tonight in particular is being a steward to the earth. As Christian we are called to take care of this Earth that God created for us. I look at my garbage can on a regular basis and can't help but think about this mandate. Is all that garbage really necessary? What is it doing to the environment? Is there a better way?
I do cloth diapers but the biggest reason I switched to cloth was so that Caleb would potty train earlier. The fact that they were cheaper and environmentally friendly were just bonuses. I recycle my bottles and cans because I get money back on them. Adam tells me that all of our garbage gets incinerated anyway so it's not a big deal. But it's still a little unsettling to go through a bag or two of garbage every week. And we've only got three people, I can't imagine how much garbage a bigger family goes through!
It's not as easy (in my mind anyway) for us to recycle paper and such. We don't have a blue box that we can set out on the curb every week. First off, I don't have space to put another bin for it and secondly, it's kind of a pain to drive it into town to dump it every time it's full (that sounds really lame even as I type it). I am going to take it one step at a time.
I have decided to start composting. I don't know a lot about it but I have a bowl that I have been putting leftovers and egg shells in. I am planning to make a composte pile in the old horse pasture next to our house and am hoping to till some of the pasture next spring to make a vegetable garden (another thing I want to teach my child(ren) but I have never done). Step 1 is to composte. Step 2 might be to find space for a paper recycling box. Step 3.... I'm not sure yet. I'm sure that there's much more that I could do to become more "green" but I haven't thought that far ahead.
I never thought that I would lean towards environmentalism. To be honest, the word always left kind of a bad taste in my mouth. Let's face it, I live in Oil Country, good ole Alberta! But the more I think about it, the more I want to instill in Caleb the fact that we have been charged with taking care of this world. It's a pretty high calling and if I want him to take God's word seriously then I should too, shouldn't I? Children learn best by example so I better learn to be a good example for Caleb. Any beliefs and values that I want Caleb to learn, I better live them too. Wow, I have a lot to learn if I want to teach Caleb to be the man of God that he's going to grow up into!
Stewardship, reading his Bible and praying everyday, how to treat his future spouse, attitude of gratitude, loving everyone (even if you don't like them), trusting God's providence, putting Christ on the throne of our heart (and keeping Him there), making disciples of all the nations..... I have a lot to learn! Praise the Lord that He gives us the opportunity to grow as our children grow and learn as our children learn. I used to look at all of this and get overwhelmed but have learned to be ever so grateful that I don't have to teach Caleb all of this alone!
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