Hormones and "Losing it"

So last night I woke up thinking that maybe, just MAYBE, my hormones are getting back to normal. I went through my life and this was about the train of my thoughts: I'm not on antidepressants anymore, that's good.
I'm not on birth control (and don't ever want to go back on the pill!).
I'm not lactating any more (though we're still nursing)...
Yup, I think my hormones are finally getting a chance to get straightened out!
*ponder*
*ponder*
CRAP! I'm pregnant! So much for that theory!!!

It's kind of silly that I was up at 3:30am to go pee (because I'm pregnant and all midnight trips to the bathroom have become routine) and I'm laying there nearly halfway through my pregnancy thinking that I'm finally able to get my hormones back into shape. Isn't being a woman lovely? Especially a woman of childbearing age! I had to have a giggle to myself about my lack of mental capabilities.

So speaking of hormones, mine are still totally out of wack. Not as bad as they were in the first trimester (i.e. I'm not nauseous all morning anymore) but they are still playing a wonderfully annoying role in my life. For example, Caleb is (I don't want to say it for fear of jinxing it!) mostly potty trained. For a long time we just did a bare bum around the house (I have mostly lino so accidents were easy to clean up) so he got used to a certain way of sitting on the potty. Now that he's graduated to underwear and pants/shorts potty time requires a few very distinct steps. The first being my requirement: tuck and hold your knees together. The second is Caleb's: pants and underwear compeltely off. Now this isn't normally a big deal because they usually just fall off when his little legs are dangling off the potty. A few weeks ago though he was wearing sweatpants with the elastic around the ankles. This means his pants did NOT fall off. Apparently this was te biggest deal in the world (at least to him). I, on the other hand, thought he should just suck it up. He kicked and screamed and I finally tore his pants off, threw them at the wall and said (not so kindly and quite loudly), "There, are you happy now?" and walked out of the room....
So apparently my hormones are still playing a role in my parenting! The worst part was that this blow out could have totally been prevented! It was Caleb's naptime (the plan was to pee and nap) so that moved him into the red zone. Since it was Caleb's naptime, that means it was also probably time for me to have a nap as well (red zone for me). Then add in the fact that I knew he wouldn't like having his pants on and I left them on anyway (strike against me) and the fact that sometimes my hormones just get the better of me (another strike against me). So if you count it up, that's one strike agains Caleb, three against me. As mad as I was at him, it wasn't really his fault. He's two for pete's sake. I'm the adult and should have stayed calm. But I didn't. So he peeed (is that how you spell it?) and then I had to apologize to him and show him I loved him. We sat on the couch and he had some milkies and we both had a nice nap. Although I would like to point out that he did mention to me that I shouldn't throw things.

Would you like another example? He was playing with a piece of our windowsill and I told him not too. He pulled his arm back, I told him throwing is not allowed. He threw it anyway. It wacked me right in the nose. I thought for a bit that he broke my nose because all of the sudden I couldn't see straight. Partially due to the blinding pain and partially due to the anger. I yelled at him not to throw things (I try to control my voice level but it's hard sometimes) and picked him up and gently set him in the corner of the couch.... okay, maybe not so gently. And I'm really grateful that he missed getting wacked into the bookshelf as I had him in my arms and turned toward the couch (I didn't see it, I was partially blind remember?). So he's sitting in the couch and I wanted to walk away. I figured though if he could see my emotions (the one of pain) that he might understand that he hurt mommy. So I chose to sit on the (far) opposite end of the couch. I REALLY didn't want to be near him at that point.
I discovered my nose wasn't broken, just bleeding and VERY bruised. Through his own tears he saw mommy crying and saw me bleeding and, after about 5-10 minutes, came over to apologize and give me a hug. I wasn't ready for his hug (still angry) but what could I do when my little toddler comes over saying "tyorry mommy, owie mommy, no throw, tyorry" with his arms open wide? So him and I had a good chat about throwing things. I also had to tell him he couldn't kiss mommy better because it was owie to touch. And the mark on my nose was handy because he would look at it for the next several days and remember what throwing does.
While this was going on, my potatoes boiled over and my meat burned. But Caleb and I were able to have a good heart to heart. Food is replacable, life lessons are not. As much as I wanted to walk away from him because I was so angry, I'm glad that I didn't. Sometimes it's good to show your children emotions (though like I said I'm still working on the raising my voice thing) so that they can learn mommy and daddy have feelings too.
The first incident was totally my hormones. I was thinking the whole time that this is ridiculous and why am I flipping out? The second incident came to be because I was cooking supper and Caleb was hungry and needed my attention. Who knew you could get so angry at and exasperated with such an adorable little being? It's amazing what will happen when both you and your child are both in the "red zone." So why am I telling you all this? First of all, this blog entry made a lot more sense when I wrote it in my head at 3:30am (it had a much better conclusion, but I can't remember it). Second, because sometimes it's good for parents to know that we're not the only ones that get angry and "lose it." There's a line by Julie Andrews in Princess Diaries 2. She plays Queen Clarice and is talking to her granddaughter (Anne Hatheway - Princess Mia) who has a tedancy to get into questionable situations. The line goes like this "As royalty we are held to higher standards. People look up to us. We can't afford to 'lose it.' Other people 'lose it,' we're supposed to find it."
I love that line! (And yes, I have nearly all that movie memorized.) It can apply to parenting too. Our little people look up to us. We need to show them how to deal properly with our emotions so that they can learn to deal with theres. Does this mean we're always going to get it right? Apsolutely not. Does that make you a bad parent? Absolutely not. Good parents fly off the handle sometimes. But a good parent understands that sometimes circumstances led up to a point and we can't blame the children for that (usually involves being tired, hungry, bored/lonely). Other times we can realize that we messed up and in that case, we MUST apologize to our children. It's only fair to treat them with the respect they deserve. Especially if you want them to treat you with the respect you deserve.
So take the time to sit and read a book with them. Or drive the train around the train track 100 times. And make sure that they get the (healthy) food and sleep they need. It will save you a lot of problems. And if you're in the wrong, own up to it. It makes it a lot easier for them to do so as they get older.

Hitting and Throwing - What Worked for Us

I feel like I'm constantly talking about discipline. But it occurred to me that, at this age, it seems that a large part of parenting consists of disciplining. He's almost two (yikes!) and is at that age where he's really starting to learn that he can make his own decisions and doesn't actually have to do exactly as mama tells him to (remember that Free Will I talked about last week?). I am sure that most moms (especially those with will boys) have been through this stage as well. Caleb really enjoys seeing what happens when he throws toys. He also gets frustrated and wants to show it in a physical way, i.e. he hits.

Let me first say that I DO NOT believe in the "terrible twos." In fact, I despise that phrase and wish people would stop using it. It seems to me like it is a) giving the child an excuse for their behavior and b) giving the parent an excuse for why they lose patience with their child. Plus, to be perfectly honest, two is one of the most fun stages that you can experience with your child and it's sad that society has devalued this stage to be nothing more than tantrums and frustration. The "twos" is a stage when children are really starting to communicate, interact, laugh at jokes, play pretend and so much more. I prefer to call this stage the "terrific twos."

Sorry, I got a little off-track there. Now that I'm done with my little "rant," let's move onto the topic at hand.

Caleb started throwing toys when he was quite young but he never did it very regularly or with any actual force until about a month ago. Even one of the ladies that watches him at church while I am attend a women's Bible study mentioned it to me one day. That was when I knew that it was getting a bit out of hand and he could hurt himself or someone else. Not to mention that he could break something. It's not that I didn't do anything about it when he threw a toy but I it never really escalated and I thought he might just be doing it at home to get attention. Turns how he was doing it in public with other people's toys. I'll say here what I tell Caleb about this: this is unacceptable behavior.

I started by giving him a warning if he threw a toy. And asked him to show me how to "do gentle touches." (We're really big on gentle touches because we have two cats and he knows what it means.) I'll be honest, it didn't really work :) So I took his toy away. This was when he would got angry, and hit me. He is a very physical little boy and he felt like his aggression could be released by getting physical. The throwing toys I could handle, but hitting me was something completely new. He has never seen anyone hit another person (in my house anyway) and I have no idea where he learned this. But he did. And there was a while when he would clench his little fists and take a swing at me! I tried to tell him "that hurts mama, that's not gentle touches, can you show me gentle touches?" A lot of times this worked. He would caress my cheek or give me a hug to show me that he was sorry. But there were times when he didn't give up so easily. He would turn and hit the fridge or the floor or even the cat a time or two.

So being the average Canadian mom, i went on the Internet to look for tips. I was startled by a lot of them:
- lock them in their room: I did this once for about 60 seconds because I really needed a break and he was scared that I had left him for good. Plus he ate my lip balm in the meantime.
- hit them back: This made the least sense, how can I teach him not to hit if I am hitting? And do I really want to hit my child?
- time outs in the corner: he would never stay in the chair. Again, he thought I abandoned him. And even when I sat with the chair he just wanted to crawl into my lap.
- ignore it, he'll grow out of it: Yeah, right. And in the meantime I'll just let him hurt himself and other people.
- Cry so that he sees he's hurt you: this only works if your child is receptive at that point but a lot of children are unable to focus on anyone but themselves at a time like this.

So I went back to my trusty Ask Dr Sears site to see if I could glean any information from there.

Here's what worked for Caleb and myself in regard to his hitting. I sat on the floor with him and grabbed his hands. I told him "hitting hurts mommy. Hitting is not nice. It is not acceptable behavior. Gentle touches please." I would repeat all those phrases that he had already become accustomed too. Then I added a new one. I told him "if you can't control your hands, mama will help control them for you." If I had just told him that and not followed through with it, I would have gotten nowhere. So for a couple of days I made sure to follow through. Even if it meant turning off the stove while cooking dinner. This meant I sat on the floor holding his hands (bear hugs are great for this) for him until he calmed down enough to reason. One time I held him until he actually fell asleep in my arms(anger can be exhausting!).

Note: For Caleb it was anger that triggered his hitting. Some children do it out of boredom or to get your attention. Try to figure out the reason so you can deal with the root instead of the result.

Flashback to a month later: he barely hits at all. Or throws toys either. If he does, the toy gets taken away for a while. There was a day when I took away quite a number of toys and my linen closet got really full! When I see him raise his hands I remind him "control your hands please. If you can't control them mama will help you." Some days he needs to be reminded several times but I can't actually remember the last time I reminded him. As for the lady at church, she mentioned this past Wednesday that Caleb is such a well behaved little boy and she was surprised how very short-lived his toy throwing and hitting "phase" lasted. It's so great to get the reassurance that he's not just on his best behavior for me but also behaves elsewhere.

So that's my success story with overcoming this stage that can escalate very quickly. Or at least it's on pause right now. But Dr. Sears says that 3 year olds are easier to discipline. So I'll cling to that fact (though I know mothers who would disagree with him on that point lol!) and hope that this issue stays away for some time. Anger is an issue that both Adam and I have dealt with in the past (and we still have our explosive moments) so if Caleb is anything like his parents we're not through with teaching how to express anger in a healthy way and control it instead of letting it control you. But I know that if this problem comes around again, at least I will already have a plan in place to deal with it. For now, I'm enjoying the "terrific twos" with my son.

My favorite part of this stage right now is that he's learning how to play pretend with his Little People (the little girl with glasses is "daddy" (Adam wears glasses)which is hilarious!) and the Little People kiss (sound effects and all) and then he lays them down to go to sleep. So cute!

Please feel free to leave a comment with any of your experiences in what worked or didn't work for you and your family. I'd love to get more ideas.

Say No to No

I was on a forum a few days ago and there was a question that was asked by a mom. In summary, she was asking if 6 months was too young to tell your child "NO." I was a little disappointed by some of the responses given. The majority of them went something like this "I've heard it's not good to tell them NO but I do it anyway" or like this "I've been told NO and I turned out fine."

It's not a great comparison but it sounds like what people say in response to drinking and driving. "I know that I've had a couple drinks and I shouldn't drive but I'm going to do it anyway. Hey look, I made it home safely!" or "I know lots of people that drive after a couple beers and they're just fine." Just because not every time ends in tragedy doesn't make it the right thing to do.

Saying NO is something I've got a strong opinion about (I have strong opinions about a lot of things lol). The reason why we're told that saying NO is a bad thing is because it's a negative word and we're supposed to be in a world full of positive parenting, aren't we?

Here is what I put as my response to this question:
I say "ah ah" with my son and have since he was little. I don't personally like saying no all the time (though there are occasions that call for it). I just feel that if a child hears "no" and "don't do that" all the time it instills a lot of negativity in them. I think that a lot of "no's" isn't really setting boundaries. It's just telling them everything they can't do.
If my son puts his feet on the table for example, instead of saying "don't do that" I tell him, "feet go under the table." I give him something positive that he can do. If he throws a toy, I don't instantly tell him he's doing something wrong. I tell him "you need to be gentle with your toys" or " please put the toy back on the shelf." Put yourself in your child's shoes. How do you feel when some one's telling you "no" constantly and telling you you can't do anything. It would probably exasperate you as well. It's about giving kids opportunities to listen and do the right thing, instead of being scolded for doing the wrong thing all the time. Even if you do decide that "no" is a word you want to use, always back it up with something positive. "No, you can't do that, But you can do this instead."

With the work that I used to do and the atmosphere in the office I've learned the value of positivity. I used to work in a office that was mostly positive but there was still a decent amount of grumbling about customers, bills, the boss etc. I felt very drained after a day at work and wasn't always in the greatest mood when I got home. The negative things people say truly to affect you, whether you want them to or not.
The next place that I worked has an extremely positive atmosphere. There was very minimal grumbling and complaining. Instead, if there was a problem, we figured out how to deal with it. Compliments and encouraging words abounded. I was excited to go into the office and felt energized when I left! I felt like I could conquer the world and that I was capable of doing whatever I put my mind too. While I worked at this "positive office" (for lack of a better term) I also did a lot of reading on personal development and heard a number of speakers on the subject. I will never forget one phrase I learned "don't walk away from the negative people in your life. RUN from them!" We all have complainers in our circle of friends. These are the "woe is me" people. They are draining to be around and you feel worse after you see them than you did before your visit.

I am talking about this because that's exactly what constant NOs reflect to your children. What kind of difference would it make if that negative friend were to change her (or his) thinking from "I don't want to go to work because my boss doesn't appreciate me and always takes advantage of me" to something along the lines of "I'm really looking forward dealing with the customers and my co-workers at my work"? Do you think it might change her whole outlook on the day? (I say her because most of my friends are female so I think female when I think friend. I'm not talking about anyone in particular.)

Now put that same attitude towards out children. Do we want them to grow up with negativity all around them? Do we want to be that negative person that our children should "run away" from? Do we want them walk into the living room and see all the NOs they can't touch and start to feel down and limited in what they can do? Or do we want them to walk into the living room and say, "I know I can't play with that but I get to play with ALL THESE TOYS!!!!"

This was what took place at my breakfast table:
Caleb: signed Cheese
Mama: You can have peanut butter sandwich or your apple.
Caleb: signed cheese (quite frantically)
Mama: You can have peanut butter sandwich your apple.
Caleb: signed cheese
Mama: Sandwich or apple.
Caleb: chose neither. And didn't get cheese either.

I "won" that discussion and didn't have to say NO even once.

I have a corner with a table that has picture frames on it. Caleb is not allowed to touch them. He know this and I've never had to tell him NO. I tell him "this corner is not for Caleb." Or "these are mama's, you can play with your toys instead." Some things have to be repeated more often but Caleb is proof that you can have a NO-free household. (It's very cute because he actually points at the corner and shakes his head and then moves on to his toy box. Most of the time anyway, sometimes he needs a gentle reminder. The reminder consists of me saying sternly "Caleb" and he usually listens right away.)

Besides all of the positive encouragement that Caleb gets from this there is another wonderful benefit. He's nearly 2 and has never told me no either.

If you want more ideas here is a great article on 18 Ways to say NO Positively.

Throwing a Fit vs Communication

I've mentioned how Caleb is such an easy child to pretty much every one that I know. And I will mention it again for those of you who don't know. He's very laid back and doesn't really get into stuff he shouldn't be into. He's also perfectly content playing by himself for sometimes hours at a time. Every once in a while he comes to check up on me and pulls me to where he has been playing because he has something so exciting that he wants to share with me. He doesn't complain when it's bedtime, he doesn't fuss for more than a few minutes when we need to come inside, and he is all around just a very even tempered and easy going little boy.

Now that I've bragged about my amazing son (every mother is entitled to let others know how great her children are) I will let you know that he's not perfect. He is a toddler and toddlers aren't all that great at communicating their emotions. Caleb's current way of letting us know he's upset consists of laying down on his tummy and whining (sometimes very angry sounding whines). Adam has tried to call them "fits" or "temper tantrums." I, however, would like to give my son the benefit of the doubt. I call it "inability to communicate."

Here's what I think: Caleb doesn't talk. He feels emotions very strongly and they are all new to him. He doesn't understand my reasoning when I tell him he's not allowed to play with something. So it makes sense that he gets upset and doesn't know how to express his feelings. I think that looking at his behaviour in this way has taught me to deal with it a little differently than if I looked at it as a temper tantrum.

The first time Caleb laid himself on the floor when he was upset I sat down beside him and tried to explain what he was feeling. I did that because he didn't know how to explain it but when he starts talking he will have the words necessary to tell me instead of show men how he feels. I said something along the lines of "You're upset aren't you? You don't like that mommy took away your porch privileges" Then I went on to explain to him why I did that. "Mama has told you that the kitty dishes are off limits. They are not a toy." Sometimes if it's something dangerous then I tell him that and why it's dangerous. Then I try to build up his emotions again "Mama loves you, Caleb I love you. You're a wonderful boy. Would you like a hug?"

My theory is that I'm teaching him that it's okay to feel those emotions but there are better ways to deal with them. And once he makes the decision to get up off the floor, I'm waiting with open arms. Sometimes I rub his back, just to give him that human contact and remind him he's not alone. And sometimes he pushes my hand away at first, but he always accepts it after a little bit.

Another important thing that a lot of moms have found is to see when they start that behavior. It is usually at a time when they are either bored, hungry or tired. Eliminate those factors and you'll find that those times of difficult communication lessen drastically. Or at least they don't last as long.

I know that it will make a difference in the long term. I'm a firm believer in "train up a child in the way he should go." That and I believe that children are just that, children. They don't understand things the way that we do. We expect way to much of them a lot of times. They like to try things and explore reactions and don't mean any harm by it. Just like I mentioned with the water cooler, they see something that looks like fun and don't understand the consequences. Yes, even if you're told them 100 times, they don't always remember. Kind of like husbands who need to be nagged sometimes.... not that I ever nag of course.... ummm yeah....

So anyway, Caleb barely lays on the floor like that. He did it really bad a couple times but now he will just lay there and wait for me to sit by him. Then he holds up his hand for me to help him up and crawls into my arms. It's really cute actually. Yes, I give my son attention when he "throws a fit." He's learning that I am paying attention to him and that his feelings do matter.

Finding Love in the Midst of a Flood

This is the continuation of my frustrations at the water cooler...

"Spare the rod and spoil the child."
(Proverbs 13:24 "He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently")

"Thy rod and staff, they comfort me" (Psalm 23:4)

These are the two verses that came to the forefront of my mind in regard to discipline. I certainly don't hate my son and I want him to learn certain boundaries. Especially when there are negative consequences to not following those boundaries. But instead of the common thought that the first verse gives to people about harsh punishment with the rod, I try to remember it in the context of a shepherd. The Great Shepherd in this case. I read a book by Francine Rivers, The Prophet. It was about a shepherd and it really opened my eyes to the use of the shepherd's rod in regard to protecting and guiding his sheep. I can't help but think of the visuals that Rivers put in my mind through this book. How Jesus, as our Shepherd wants to protect us from dangers and uses the crook of his staff to pull us from danger. It was a comfort to Amos' sheep (in the book) to feel the rod pull them back to safety, sometimes more harshly that others. They knew that he would protect him.

That's the way that I want Caleb to feel about me. I want him to know that I set the limits so that he can be safe. I don't want him to respect me out of fear but out of love and a want to obey. As bad as it sounds, however, it's defiantly easier if he's afraid to touch the water cooler.

I know that the Bible also says not to put stumbling blocks in front of people that can cause them to sin. I finally figured out a way to keep Caleb from touching the water cooler! I accept the fact that he's just too young to understand the consequences of playing with the water cooler. Even with all the repetition he just doesn't get it. It's not a character flaw in him, he's not doing it to be bad. He's doing it because he loves to play with water (whether that be in the bathtub, a puddle, the sink while doing dishes, cat water dishes etc).

Solution: We turned the water cooler around into the corner. Yes, it's a complete pain to turn it back around every time that I want a glass of water. But I would rather take a bit more time to get a glass of water that put something in Caleb's way that tempts him to disobey a boundary I've set out. He was a little upset at first. He didn't understand why he couldn't find the taps. We'll see how it goes over the next few weeks and then try turning it around again. Maybe he will understand that he's not allowed to touch it or maybe he'll grow bored of it. Or maybe not. But it's much easier on all of us to just take the temptation away right now.

I probably could just watch him closely and keep repeating that he's not allowed to touch it. It's just not a big enough concern for me to do so (unlike when he was learning to stay on the lawn and not run onto the gravel). The biggest thing that I've learned about discipline from this is that when I run out of patience with Caleb, I need to take a step back and put myself in his position. I can't look at him as an adult that understands the logical explanation of all the reasons why he shouldn't do certain things. I shouldn't punish him for something that he just doesn't understand. It's not like he was hurting anyone or himself with this. He just wants to have some fun. I've found that going face to face with him and looking him directly in the eye, I see that he's not out to be malicious. Not that I really thought that, I just lost sight of the big picture because I was more focused on my frustration with the situation that I was on him and his needs.

Discipline is a time to reconnect with my son and learn how to understand him more. I've learned that he REALLY enjoys playing with water. This is a great tidbit of information because it means I have a way to occupy him throughout the winter. I can plop him in the tub, even if he doesn't need a bath, and give him some cups and containers. He could probably entertain himself for quite a while (with me sitting in the bathroom supervising of course, beauties of a laptop or a good book). I also know that he will be helping me often with washing dishes (the floor is lino and clothes can get chucked in the dryer). Mama just needed to relax and take advantage of this learning opportunity.

I feel way better about things now! And I'm sure that Caleb does too because now his mama is going to give him exactly what he wanted, except within the allowed boundaries of course.

Trouble at the Water Cooler

Since we live in the country and drink well water I get our water checked every year to make sure it's safe for drinking. Turns out that we have way too much fluoride for anyone under the age of 8. This means that I need to use bottled water for Caleb to drink and to cook his food with. We recently bought a water cooler for this very purpose. Plus because it's cold water my hope is that Adam will begin drinking water instead of iced tea all the time.

Why oh why don't they child proof the cold "tap" the same way they do the hot one?!?!?!

I can't tell you how many liters of water Caleb has spilled all over the floor. He really enjoys drinking a little bit of water, dumping the rest on the floor and going to the water cooler to put more in his little glass. As cute as he looks carrying his cup (and mine, and basically any other cup that is within his reach) to the water cooler to put a bit of water in, I don't enjoy the mess that this makes. My floor is soaked, my son is soaked, my feet get soaked, our chairs are soaked, and it's all with freezing cold water! Not to mention that Caleb slips and falls on the flood of water.

Caleb had a huge fascination with the garbage can for a while and with a lot of patience and repetition, he learned that the garbage is dirty and off limits and not a toy. He will now put garbage in there if I ask him to and is (usually) really good about not taking it back out. This same strategy is a little more difficult for the water cooler. He will grab his cup and my hand and bring us to the cooler, puts his cup on the little shelf, then makes sure I'm watching while he puts water in his cup. This is the tricky part: he's allowed to put water in his cup while I'm there to supervise, he's not allowed when I'm not there to supervise.

Cute side note: I was away one evening and Adam was playing computer while Caleb played around the house. I came home to find about 10 cups, filled with anywhere from a centimeter to an inch of water in them, all on Adam's desk. Apparently Caleb was on a mission and wanted to make sure his papa didn't go thirsty!

I tried to "baby proof" the water cooler to take the temptation away from him. I check my house constantly to find stray cups and put them on the counter out of Caleb's reach. This worked for about a week. He then discovered that water can go in all the plastic containers that he's allowed to play with in the kitchen (great entertainment for him while I'm cooking dinner).
Another method that I tried was when I was in another room I moved the chairs in front of the water cooler and then put the table in front of them so he couldn't move the chairs out of the way. This only lasted 2 days. His little arms can slip between the backs of the chairs with a cup or container and presto! Water everywhere.

Needless to say this has been very frustrating. I've never had to deal with this much "defiance" before. Partially because Caleb just isn't a boy who gets into a lot of things and partially because this toddler stage means a whole bunch of new developmental adventures to deal with. It's hard to have so much patience with him sometimes. I've tried these different measures and he still gets into trouble and it's hard to react with the love and support that I know I'm supposed to give him. There have been a number of occasions where I kneel beside him and tell him very sternly that the water cooler is not a toy. He either just doesn't seem to care or he gets scared of me and cries. I don't want to resort to him being "obedient" out of fear. I want him to understand consequences.

I've looked into all sorts of "methods" of disciplining and "training" a child with things like this. I don't like most of the responses. I don't want to spank him for something that he obviously doesn't understand is not allowed and I don't want to give him a time-out because he's just too young to understand why he would be getting one. I would rather he stop playing with the water cooler because he understands that it's not a toy and/or because mama will be disappointed in him if he does...

I'm going to end this entry right now because I don't want it to get too long. Those are just some of my thoughts and frustrations about the concept of discipline at this point. I've been doing a lot of reading and praying about this subject and God is steering me into a good direction on how to deal with this. I'll share some of those thoughts in my next entry.